| Edit. My feelings are still the same. I`m afraid. This will be burdened, never to be spoken of. This will always be the same. Too bad. Nobody knows.
Life isn't about keeping score, its not about how many people call you and its not about who you've dated, or haven't dated at all. it isn't about who you've kissed what sport you play, or witch guy or girl likes you. its not abotu your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. in fact, it's not about grades,money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love, and who you hurt. Its about how you feel about yourself. its about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. Its about seeing people for who they truly are.Ya Digg ?!?
Dear God,
Why you got to tear my heart out. Did I do something wrong to feel this pain? Did I do something to feel a bruise in my heart? w what to do. Sit&watch?? Tell me... I am lost to how I can bear the thought of seeing my love try loving another. Even though he&I will end up together agaWhy play my life like I`m the player on a board of chess. I know he loves me, not any other girl but it`s hard. I just want him to tell the world still. I wish I was that 1st ldy. In his heart I am but what you trying to show me? God, I don`t want to see that... a new love story. Even I can`t bear myself one. I been at the hospital asleep for 17 hours, all those hours thinking about him and praying time will run quickly. I keep asking... Why?? I`m loosing hope for a chance but I can`t leave his side cause ` I love him. He`s my one&only. He`s the one I`m feeling. Been feeling for the past year. To see that another girl likes him, i don`t know... It just hurts to watch. More because he goes out to get to know her... I can`t seem to do that still with other nigkers. When I do try, I end up turning away but then again, he&i are different. God... How am I suppose to handle this? Just ignore it and helplessly watch? Be a crybabeii & try keep him close when I can`t do anything? I don`t know...love is wen yu can`t sleep becos` yu can`t stop thinking about that person. love is wen yu aren`t afraid of being silly with that person. love is wen yu` want to be able to laugh with that other person with out being awkwar. love is wen yu stare at the phone for house hoping that that person will call. love is wen the only thing that makes yu` feel better, is that person`s smile.love is wen people can`t say anything to yu` or about yu` cus u just don`t care but about and only of that person. love is wen youu get online & yu` sit there for hours & wait till youu can talk to that person. love is wen you find someone yu` can tell anything to & i won`t be made fun ov. love is wen youu can wake up with hair a mess and that person still manages to say you look beautiful. love is wen that person would do anything to see yu` smile. love is wen he`s dying & the last thing he wants is to hear is your voice .love is wen every song reminds yu` of that that person. love is wen there`s endless conversations of just "I love you" . love is wen everything isnt centered with sexuality but even with the heart its understood. love is wen you cant seem to understand yourself what your feeling but just warmth. love is wen ... its just you and that person in the world you see .ALL0W ME TO EXPLAiN A BR0KEN HEART. a broken heart is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you are afraid of the reality that awaits you. a broken heart is when you think about the individual that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce the "Good Times" almost as if the "Bad Times" never existed.a broken heart is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night and yet crying more and more each morning. a broken heart is the unforgettable smell of that person`s that sits in that empty box; stowed away.
a broken heart is the cold shattering feeling you receive when you hear the syllables of his name. a broken heart is glancing at the pictures of the two of you or even just a picture of that individual, and then quickly turning your attention to something else, to avoid your tears.a broken heart is re-reading his ancient letters and what he used to say to you and putting away the jewelry that he once bought for you. a broken heart is is secretly wanting to run back to that person and secretly wanting to just be loved by him again. a broken heart is asking desperately for just one last chance with the only person responsible for your loneliness. a broken heart is pretending to not care if that other person is seeing other people and on the other side your shattered into millions of pieces.a broken heart is forcing yourself to hang up the phone after you have dialed the first three digits to his number.a broken heart is screaming and begging for a second chance inside.a broken heart is the emptiness and heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new love. a broken heart is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself, you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact "Be Alright." a broken heart is seeing that person and even though it may be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do but, you decide to walk away. a broken heart is listening to that one song that makes you break down, over and over again. a broken heart sometimes means: Not wanting to go on. Lord, I feel like I have a broken heart. The pain I ceased to not have existed before, DOES EXiST NOW. I felt this pain before... make it go away =[ . I`m not asking for you to do it all , to give it all but to at least help me make it through a day without feeling that way. or help me go through the night without thinkin of him . or help me go through a dream without not wanting to hit reality . or help me just get through dialing the right numbers ... I crave for his love to be mine again but help me go through this until its the right now. I`m too weak to do this alone. Father in heaven..
God grant me the serenity to accept
The things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference
Jesus` name I pray, Amen
God, why do you always put me through this?/ Putting me over the edge, wanting to cut my wrist/ I'm sorry if I can't be the girl to stand tall and be tough/ I've felt like this too many times, it's like I've had enough/ Looking back to the past brings way too much pain//Most of the time just thinking about it makes me wanna go insane/ I lay in bed like a helpless child shedding tear after tears/ Wanting to be happy again, trying to let out all my pain and fears/ As each bittersweet teardrop falls down my cheek/ It seems as if my heart is getting weak/ Crying into the fresh scent of my blanket puts me asleep/ In my dreams is a place where I can always be free/ Of all people why me, where did I go wrong?/ I once remember I was this girl who used to be able to stand strong/ Don't I deserve to be happy, putting a smile on everyone's face/ But instead my heart is shattered into pieces like a broken vase/ Maybe this is all an obstacle I have to go through on my own/ No one can help me, not in person or by phone/ Should I erase all 15 years of my life and say goodbye/ Give me an answer, to make things better, it's worth a try/ |
